Sunday, September 27, 2009

This feeling really really really sucks*

I sang this for worship today.

You're all I want,
you're all I ever needed
you're all i want
Help me know you are here.
The past few days has been both confusing and painful to me. I don't know if what i am doing is right or wrong anymore. People have been giving me all sorts of different advices, worldy and spiritually.
I am 20, and im trying my best to catch up on all the times that i ponned church to lan, pool and etc. Some people say its not time yet, others go wtf. At the end of the day it is still my personal choice.
It hurts lar dammit.
After church and everything, feeling angsty for a whole bunch of reasons, i came to a conclusion that yes, nothing in life worth having, comes easy.
Hence i shall adopt Samuel's signature line "I ll fight till i die like Samurai warrior". Easier said than done of course. I am stubborn, i am implusive, i am childish at times, i get angsty at times too, i am more of a jock than an intellect, but i am human and i sin. Thats no excuse though.
Lord please help me to do whats right and now so more than ever, help me know you are here.
I truely dislike feeling this way. Maybe its neccessary trials and tribulations for me, but i do not enjoy it one bit.
Anyway i signed up for the AVIVA Ironman, 1.9 km swim, 90 km bike, 21 km
run. Hopefully that ll cheer me up a bit, even so i bet going through that motion isn't going to feel as bad as now.
Hope ya'll are having a better day than me.
God bless and cheers!